Early last year, I connected with Shelli Johnson who I met through a former boss and colleague. Shelli is a coach whose core intent is to help each person she works with live the life they want to live. Their epic life. I engaged Shelli as a coach at a time when I was faced with mounting scrutiny and feeling misaligned with my day-to-day.  These two elements were then compounded by my own expectations (I’m hard on me) when I spent time comparing myself to an idea of who I felt I be.  An epic life I was not living.

In that moment of sharing this struggle with Shelli, she mentioned these grounding words to me, “Comparison is the thief of joy.  Stop comparing yourself to an idea, instead focus on being who you want to be now.” Those words remain with me to this day simply because it is hard not to compare.  I find myself in the act always.  Comparison is a tough trait to remove from our livelihood.  It is baked into much of what we do, especially as candidates interviewing for a job, business owners aiming for more marketshare or individuals trying to create appeal for our own ideas.

But the practice of letting comparison go has some pretty big rewards as it relates to creating the life you want to live. For me, the absence of comparison gives me a bit more courage to publish my ideas and thoughts. To put myself out there instead of holding back.  For others, stopping the comparison game may embolden your voice, encourage you to do that thing you’ve wanted to do or be the person you feel you need to be. The very act of comparison has its place, but when we use it to assess our ourselves and it results in negating our own courage to be true to core – it has gone too far. So put it in its place and let the joy back in.